Thursday, August 11, 2011

I'm Spoiled Milk

Now, I know I haven't been posting as regularly as I should. A lot of things have definitely happened and yesterday I had a mental list of what I needed to go over but right now I'm forgetting most of the things. Damn.

Anyways, I wanted to first let you all know why I haven't been blogging all that much. It's actually a bit embarrassing  and definitely is not something I would tell one of my real life friends but since you all know me at my worst I figured I would let you know. It adds to the humiliation, I guess.

I am re-obsessed with one of my childhood websites. Neopets, if you must know. It was something I got addicted to in the 5th grade and actually didn't fully quit until the middle of 9th grade. Yeah, it was a bad obsession and I knew I needed to get rid of it if I wanted any friends. Some reason, I checked back on and I'm back into the craze. /blush

Now on to my attitude. My attitude is a lot like milk, it's fresh and refreshing when you first purchase it but within a week (or my case a day or two) it goes spoiled and needs to be thrown out. That's me! After a punishment you would think I had no kind of attitude problem but give me a day, or even a few hours sometimes and I start to spoil.

Now, I don't even remember why my attitude came out, probably something really stupid but it came out bad not to long ago and I got the spanking I long deserved. It wasn't supposed to be that rough of a punishment. A few smacks with the wooden spoon on my leggings and then two sets of 25, one stating I would not have an attitude and the other stating I wouldn't backtalk.

Me and back-talking is the absolute worst, by the way. It honestly gets me in the most trouble, even beyond my attitude. I have always grown up needing to get the last word, and sure enough me getting the last word, or even the second word is considered back talk. It's hard to change a habit of 19 years!

Master quickly pulled me over his knee and He spanked me a bunch and then started the first set of 25. I submitted to the best of my abilities but half-way through, something jumped out and I protested to something, not exactly sure at this point, but because of the stupid BT (backtalk) the 25BT swats turned into 40. :( I almost cried.

I don't know about the rest of you,  but when I have to count that means the strikes are going to be 10x harder than what I'm normally used to. So even though 25 doesn't seem like much, they're much harder then when he's consistently spanking and that's why 25 is a scary number. FIVE is a scary number in that case.

When the spanking was finally over I was sent to my corner to think about my privileges.  He then gave me a pad of paper and I was to write down these thought of priorities. 

The man has a plan. He now has a system to my attitude which somewhat frightens me. It hasn't taken affect yet, which I'm thankful of, and I hope it never does. But he hung my priority list up on our bulletin board (I hope we don't have any guests) and he said every time I BT or express attitude he is going to cross off one of the priorities on my list. :(

These priorities include: speaking, texting, being able to go on the internet, sleeping in bed with Master, ect.

All the things I like. Waaahhh!
I think I would honestly prefer a spanking....

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

THE Survey

I decided to follow the trend and post my survey. :P

What is your screen name?  hiskitten
How long have you been practicing TTWD?  6 months

What is your astrological sign?  Capricorn

In what part of the country do you live?   West Coast

Do you have children?   Does my kitten count?

Do you have grandchildren?   Nope. 

What is your favorite color?   Changes all the time, but currently blue.

What is your favorite day of the week?   Thursdays.
Morning or Evening?   Evening.

Favorite TV Show?  Either How I Met Your Mother, or Big Bang Theory.

Favorite pro sport?   I don't follow any sports.

Favorite Ice Cream?    Rocky Road

Person from Blogland you'd like to meet?   dancingprincess :)

Person from Blogland you identify with the most?    Ella, Chris's wife.

First person who welcomed you to blogging?   Ella got me reading.

Title of your first blog entry?   Every Relationship Has A Beginning..

What are you wearing on your feet right now?   They're bare.

What are you listening to right now?   The AC.

Chocolate or Vanilla?   Chocolate.

Coffe or Tea?   Neither.

Favorite non-alcoholic drink?   Sparkling lemonade.

Favorite alcoholic drink?  Probably Captain Morgan

Favorite vacation spot?  Anywhere new.

Favorite Holiday?   Halloween. I have a thing for dressing up. 

Favorite season?  Winter, I hate the heat.

Place you want to visit?   Everywhere I haven't been. Broad answer, but I want to see the world.
If you had to start all over again, would you still choose TTWD?   It's the only thing that works.

Best piece of advice you can pass on about TTWD? When things arn't working the way you had in mind, be sure to talk about, even if it might make you feel uncomfortable. Like any relationship communication is key.

Figured I would update you all on how my new lifestyle has been going. I got a total of three spankings last night :( and I'm expecting one tonight even if I'm the best girl he has ever seen. For the first few weeks I need to be reminded of my place constantly. Currently I have internet access, which is awesome, but I'm not allowed to personally talk to anyone, writing blogs are OK. Last night Master took me again forcefully and I fell back in love with him. It sounds weird, and pretty vulgar but being taken the way he did made me realize why I was with him in the first place. He is so sexy when he shows that authority, maybe I was meant to be his slut. :)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Demoted Once More

It looks like being submissive to Chris wasn't enough for the both of us. I am as stubborn and rebellious as it gets and listening to Chris became harder and harder because I am one to constantly test my boundaries. If you have read my previous blogs, you are well aware that Chris and I have been going through a shaky time but lucky for my sake we are still together. :)

Earlier today we have mutually (for the most part) decided that I don't deserve the freedom of being his sub. A rebellious brat like me deserves nothing more than being his slave and I am going to go start getting treated like one. The idea of being treated like a slave scares me, I never want to be treated badly by Master, but seeing that I have been taking advantage of the freedom he has given me, I am no longer worthy of it.

The past two days I have been doing something that no slave, nor submissive should ever do. I have been looking for guidance from other Masters (mainly Mistress's) to get me back in the swing of being more submissive. I want to be submissive to Chris, but for some reason, I can't explain where it came from because Chris definitely does not deserve the brat I am, but I have grown very stubborn about ever obeying and I go through my day thinking of how I can get away with things rather than searching for opportunities of how I can make his life easier or a simpler word for it: submit to him.

Being his slave means that my sole purpose is to please him and only him. I do not have any more priorities that I would normally be given as a human being. That means I have been stripped of my freedom of speech or any leisure activities I once grew interested in while I ignored Chris in the past, that means no cell-phones or internet use without his permission.

Yes, this sounds horrible to even me but I think it's actually working. This entire six months we have been together, I have always treated the two of us as equals, and I was definitely wrong to do so. When we started falling in love in the beginning, we were both really fond of the idea of him being Master, me being his. We have strayed so far from this concept that I have started to say things like, "I could run our lives better than he can". Boy, was I wrong.

Today after I admitted to my wrong doing of seeking guidance from other forms of authority he sat me down, and I swear I felt glued to my seat. I have never seen Chris use that much authority in his voice, it was the authority I needed to start listening seeing that I wasn't even afraid of misbehaving in the past. I sat there silently, afraid to speak, afraid to move, afraid to breath.

He lectured me for about an hour, how I've been spoiled the last 6 months of our relationship and I agreed. I mean, I definitely have been. I demand him to cuddle me at night, and he cuddles me because he loves me but that is now way someone who is sub to their Master should be treating him. It just never crossed my mind that I was being so controlling from the bottom. I proved I wasn't ready to have freedom and sure enough freedom was taken from me.

During the lecture he mentioned that there is no more fooling around, that when I break a rule, even when I'm "joking" (as I used to say a lot), I am to be severely punished instantly.

"And when I say punished, I mean punished. No more maintenance spankings, no more 'patpats', no more play spankings. You will be punished and you won't enjoy it. When I say punished, I mean left with bruises and never wanting to sit down again. And I'm going to make sure you don't enjoy it, if you're wet, I will continue until you either air dry or spank you until it's no longer a turn-on."

Now let me explain myself here. His authority, the way he takes charge and spanks me just naturally turns me on. The spanking itself is the most painful thing in the world most of the time and I beg to be forgiven and let free. But for some reason, I still grow wet. He says it's because I'm enjoying it, but to honest truth I am not. :(

After our lecture, when he finally allowed me to get up he had me clean my room and told me we were going to have a session when I was done. For the first time, I cleaned the room fast without the same attitude I would normally feel suffocate me. The room was completely done in about 15 minutes, clothes put away and what not and I cleaned it so he would have something to be proud of.

Chris literally came in right after I was making the bed and basically finished and sat down with the spoon in hand. I knew I was to submit to this punishment eagerly or I would never see the light of day tomorrow. I did submit to my warning spanking (as he would call it). A spanking to remind me who I belong to....

My spoon and stool. The stool is up to my waist tall.
It fucking hurt, a lot. And I mean HURT!!!
It lasted a long time and he was super consistent with his strokes. He made every stroke count and for the first time didn't have me count the entire way through. It made me feel like I wasn't in control for the first time. When I count, I usually know about when it's going to be over so I can somewhat prepare myself but today I had to take it, not knowing if I was going to be spanked for the next 10 minutes, or the next hour.

The strokes on my bottom hit at the same momentum and would speed up. I don't know what exactly happened, but he definitely has been teaching himself about being my Master because he spanked like a professional today and I could definitely, and still definitely feel it. He had me over his knee for half, and then had me hold myself up with this "punishment stool" he bought me.

For the first time I took the spanking and although I squealed and whined when he told me not to I definitely kept my moving to a minimum and did try my best not to make a sound.

While leaning forward, ass up, head up, using my "punishment stool", he took me as his. He let me know for the first time that if he wants to fuck me, he's allowed to fuck me and as his sex slave (I hate calling myself that, but that's honestly all I am right now), I am going to enjoy it for him. I'm very bad when it comes to sex, I'll like it once it is happening but I never want to because the first few minutes really hurt me. He's not going to give me a chance to think about those first few minutes anymore which I somewhat actually like, call me crazy.

We are becoming more and more of what we wanted to be, just taking an extreme turn so buckle up. The rest of these blogs are going to be not so nice...

P.S. Sorry Ariel if I never speak to you again...