Tuesday, May 10, 2011


I know I have not added a blog for a month now, and I'm sorry but we've somewhat taken a break. A long unfortunate break, and I have no real thing to update you on.

These few weeks have been the most stressful weeks of our life. Schools is crunching down on me, we still have no real place to live or be ourselves and we're breaking down to a boiling point. C and I got in the biggest fight of our lives last night, since I don't ever get spanked at all anymore, I'm miss Sassy, with a capital S. I talk back nonstop, I'm disrespectful, I hardly ever obey him and it has been getting out of control. I still have never been punished and it brought doubt inside me, is my Master capable of punishing me?

Luckily I'm very open about our lifestyle choice so it didn't take long for me to bring it up to him. To my surprise he fits my needs perfectly, we just have not had a place of our own to be ourselves and this has taken a toll on the two of us. We are moving in less than a month, for certain, and I can't wait for that day. The second I finish my last final, we are free and we're moving up north to visit his parents and then within a week or so we'll hopefully have our own place to call home. I just don't know if I can wait any longer.

This is why non DD relationships don't work out for too long. There's too much fighting, no one ends anything. Everyone just bickers back and forth and someone has to be the "strong one" and end the argument. Now, in our relationship, he's the one who has to put his foot down and punish me if I continue on, but with the lack of punishment we have been having a vanilla relationship and that frankly does not work for me. Especially knowing what he's capable of. Sometimes I wish he would just yank me over his knee and teach me the lesson because as bad as it sounds, sometimes I forget he's boss and when we move I know he won't let me pass a day where I forget that.

Punishments are adding up. This is scary, I don't want to have to face a bunch once we settle in. Right now I'm complaining that I'm not being spanked, and I know for a fact that I'll be blogging with a very sore bottom in the near future. YIKES! The thought alone makes me shiver, but I know it's what we both need. I love him, I respect him, and we just need to suffer these last few weeks so our lives can start together.

Your kitten,


  1. Zoe, I'm sorry you guys took a break and have been fighting! Sometimes life gets in the way of dd and as much as it sucks, you just gotta push on. Try to think ahead when you're not obeying or being submissive. Just because he can't punish you now does not mean you won't face punishment for it. It won't be worth it to build up all those punishments! Hugs girl, chin up! :D

  2. Yeah, I really don't want punishments to add up. The thought of that alone sends chills down my spine.
    It's just hard, he tells me all these things he's going to do with me and I don't think I can bare the excitement (or the nerves) :P

    Congratulations on Silas. He's beautiful!! <3