Friday, April 15, 2011

Happy Birthday Master!

Just wanted to wish Boyfriend a quick Happy Birthday!

Just wanted to let you know I love you more and more each day. You're constantly surprising me, and I can feel our relationship get stronger the further along we go. You mean everything to me. You're my Boyfriend, my Master, my Guidance, my Lover, and on top of it all someone I can actually talk to. You're incredible. I am yours, and it'll remain that way for as long as we are happy, which is forever at this point in my mind. :P

Meow, meow.
-your kitty

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

I used to be the child who was never allergic to anything, never had a single allergy or allergic reaction, life was swell. Until I lost my virginity. Turns out, I'm not as perfect as I thought I was (with the exception of kiwi tickling my throat), I'm allergic to condoms.

When I lost my virginity (about 2 months ago) having sex would burn, a lot. I thought it was just because I was a virgin so I tried my best to suck it up and figured eventually the burn would pass, I was wrong. Boyfriend and I finally went over to Planned Parenthood to get the birth control that was VERY well needed in our relationship. Even if I wasn't allergic, having sex with Chris meant no condoms either way, and unprotected sex is a red flag for me, so BC was the way to go.

We went in a few days ago, got to sit in the room for about 2 hours before even speaking to someone. Now, this is where it gets a bit complicated. I went in to talk to someone about getting BC and the first few questions they ask, standard procedure, is "Does your boyfriend ever hit you?""Has your boyfriend ever forced sex upon you?""Are you in a healthy relationship?"

Now, if you are in a DD relationship, or BDSM, or anything a little more fun than the typical vanilla lifestyle, then you would understand that lying is necessary when answering these questions. And I DON'T lie....

I'm not sure if she suspected anything, because I did end up holding my breath and telling the nice lady that I have NEVER been forced to have sex (he's my Master, and when he wants to fuck, we fuck), and it was even harder to tell the nice lady that he has never hit me before when I was sitting on bruises. 0_o

As long as they don't check me, I'm good right? If they were to ever see the bruises, what am I supposed to say? That it's agreed upon?! YIKES! I can already feel my face turn bright red!

Still have not been punished, punished. Had a maintenance like spanking in his car the other day, but that was just uncomfortable for the two of us. No space.

Until next time,

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Drunk Excuses

There is nothing worse than feeling guilty, stressed out, clingy, and on top of it all in trouble. Saturday night I went to a party while Boyfriend was at work when I was supposed to be finishing my assignment. He doesn't have any rules about me going to parties, he wants me to still be able to stay in touch with my other friends, but he does have a problem with me A. not finishing my work, B. being at a party where I'm the only girl and C. allowing another guy tell me what to do, and sure enough I broke all 3 rules and to top it all off I left my phone in the bathroom and it took me two hours to respond to his text. YIKES.

I had a paper due on Monday, so I figured I had ALL of Sunday to do it, so naturally, being the procrastinator I am (and I mean PROcrastinator), I went to the small party like get-together.

I have always been friends with guys, girls are too bitchy and hold grudges, so upon arriving I didn't feel out of place at all to be the only girl. But since I was the only girl, at a sausage fest, you can only imagine what some alcohol can do to a bunch of horny teenagers.

Another girl did end up arriving, but because of this, while playing Kings Cup, one of my friends pulled out a "make a rule" card and decided to make us kiss every time the guys had to drink to make things "fair". Me kissing another girl was not the issue here, I'm bi and Boyfriend allows me kiss other girls but only for His entertainment, this is where I went wrong.

Not only was I allowing another group of horny guys tell me what to do, but I also allowed them to be entertained by my drunk doings (drunk is no excuse, I love you Master).

Now, in a normal Dom/Sub relationship, He would've just punished me for not thinking and this tremendous guilt would be lifted off of me. But instead I have to wait, and wait, and live with my silly immature mistakes until we find a place and time to do it. Do you understand how nerve wracking that is?!

First things first, I have never been actually punished before. We've had maintenance spankings and play spankings here and there, but we have never reached my limit and I have a feeling this is one of those times he wants measure what I can take. To be honest, I've kind of been pushing my limits, pushing his patience a little more than usual because of this never-ending remorse I have in my wrong doings, but it NEEDS to happen as soon as possible or I may end up pushing him over the top.

Wish me luck?

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Every relationship has a beginning..

Every time my boyfriend leaves for work, he leaves me here in his room when I'm the neediest for his attention. Most of the time I get nothing productive done, however this time, my neediness got me watching/reading different "spanking stories" (if you are a 'spanko' or whatever you'd like to call it, you would understand the satisfaction of reading such a story while in need), which led me to Christopher and ella's blog, which led me to create a blog of my own.

Now, most blogs are created to allow people to have an insight on their life and to teach them a little about something (especially the DD blogs). But mine is more in search of guidance. I'm a 19 year old girl and being a sub is definitely a new experience for me. I have always fantasized about it, and every other relationship felt like something was missing, nothing ever felt right. This is also my D's first time being a Dom, so from what I've said already you probably know we need all the guidance we can get.

Lucky for the two of us, we have both prior fantasized about taking our current roles in a DD lifestyle but figured we were both to absurd for the real world and would never in a million years find a partner who was into the same kind of wacky, twisted lifestyle, but sure enough we found each other. Funny how things work. We've only been together for 2 months (on the 5th), but we can both already tell that this is the start of an amazing, finally fulfilling relationship. On a side note, I have lived with him even before we made things "exclusive" (funny story about that word), so just because our relationship has only been just shy of 2 months, I know him and trust him more than any of my other boyfriends. I'm not too sure yet if it's because of that feeling, that knowledge that he holds me up when I'm spinning in a blackhole of stress or because we have seen each other during everything. The only time apart we get is while he's at work, or I'm at school and that is almost impossible for myself.

So making this blog I feel like I'll have something to do while he's away (while I'm procrastinating on my HW of course) and be able to also learn more about the lifestyle in the process. We both admit we have a lot to learn, but we are more than willing to learn and experience everything there is to know in order to eventually take our relationship to the next level. I've already fallen in love with this man after 3 months, and when I think there's no way he can possibly become greater, he does.


P.S. He doesn't know I've created this blog just yet, I'll send him a text as soon as I publish it. We have talked about it, but never confirmed that it was a good idea. I do need some vent time, none of my friends or family members would understand so it's nice to enter a world where people get me.

P.P.S. I gave my virginity to my D at the age of 19. I saved it for someone worth it.