There is nothing worse than feeling guilty, stressed out, clingy, and on top of it all in trouble. Saturday night I went to a party while Boyfriend was at work when I was supposed to be finishing my assignment. He doesn't have any rules about me going to parties, he wants me to still be able to stay in touch with my other friends, but he does have a problem with me A. not finishing my work, B. being at a party where I'm the only girl and C. allowing another guy tell me what to do, and sure enough I broke all 3 rules and to top it all off I left my phone in the bathroom and it took me two hours to respond to his text. YIKES.
I had a paper due on Monday, so I figured I had ALL of Sunday to do it, so naturally, being the procrastinator I am (and I mean PROcrastinator), I went to the small party like get-together.
I have always been friends with guys, girls are too bitchy and hold grudges, so upon arriving I didn't feel out of place at all to be the only girl. But since I was the only girl, at a sausage fest, you can only imagine what some alcohol can do to a bunch of horny teenagers.
Another girl did end up arriving, but because of this, while playing Kings Cup, one of my friends pulled out a "make a rule" card and decided to make us kiss every time the guys had to drink to make things "fair". Me kissing another girl was not the issue here, I'm bi and Boyfriend allows me kiss other girls but only for His entertainment, this is where I went wrong.
Not only was I allowing another group of horny guys tell me what to do, but I also allowed them to be entertained by my drunk doings (drunk is no excuse, I love you Master).
Now, in a normal Dom/Sub relationship, He would've just punished me for not thinking and this tremendous guilt would be lifted off of me. But instead I have to wait, and wait, and live with my silly immature mistakes until we find a place and time to do it. Do you understand how nerve wracking that is?!
First things first, I have never been actually punished before. We've had maintenance spankings and play spankings here and there, but we have never reached my limit and I have a feeling this is one of those times he wants measure what I can take. To be honest, I've kind of been pushing my limits, pushing his patience a little more than usual because of this never-ending remorse I have in my wrong doings, but it NEEDS to happen as soon as possible or I may end up pushing him over the top.
Wish me luck?