I also didn't blog the day after, because I didn't get my spanking. I was of course somewhat disappointed. All day I had been anticipating the worst spanking of my life (since we're changing our lifestyle in that direction) and he gets home, I don't mention it, we start watching TV and then we go to bed.
Of course while in bed I can't keep my feelings from gushing out of my body language. He asks me what's wrong, I'm too embarrased to say, and he goes: "I didn't forget about your spanking. I'm just really tired tonight, you'll be getting it tomorrow." Uh oh... I thought to myself.
Tomorrow comes around. I get spanked that night right before bed. I don't even remember it. It obviously was NOT the worst spanking of my life...
The next day is Wednesday. I'm stressed out with work, with school, with my obnoxious uncle who is "trying to teach me discipline" (those were his actual words, not mine). I asked for a stress relief spanking. We haven't explored this much, and I think it's about time we did. He confessed he didn't know how, and so I said we should research. He took that opportunity to research and leave me out of it. Hmmph.
He gave me my 'stress reliever' and once again I don't think it was long enough of stress relieving enough because I was stil overwhelmed afterwards.
That brings us to last night. He was at work, I was home alone after a long day at my job. I'm a bit addicted to spanking videos, and I came across the professional spanker Kyle Johnson. He is know for helping girls break their habits and be the best they can be. He also does couple counciling. We need counciling, we both do. You know how I said we found a mentor? Well that mentor has been MIA for the last week and it has seriously put me on edge. So I started talking to Kyle on fetlife, I knew that I wasn't supposed to talk to other guys but I have a hard time finding a solution to something like 'finding a mentor' if I can't talk to them.
I'm probably the most honest submissive ever. I'm just really bad at hiding things and I never lie, it's not in my nature. So of course, as soon as Master gets home I let him know I broke a rule and started talking to this man. He was cooking dinner and I could tell growing very upset with me. I hate when he's upset with me, I feel so guilty and unloved. :( We watched a TV show and ate dinner in silence. He mentioned during commercials that I was going to be punished for this, and my body tensed up due to the tone of his voice...
After the TV show, I knew what was going to happen. I knew he was going to stand up, take me by the hand, lead me to the bedroom and I was going to regret not being able to control myself. But that didn't happen. This is where I grow frustrated.
After the TV show he turns on Skyrim, a video game we're both very much addicted to and starts playing. I'm being obviously very pouty but he doesn't say a word or notice. Then I lose control.
"So is this how it's going to be!?"
"You're just going to put my spanking off again and then be too tired to actually punish me?"
He stands up.
He grabs me by the hand.
"You asked for this kitten"
At this point I don't know if I'm supposed to be happy, or scared. I got my way... sort of?
He pulls me over his lap as soon as we get to the bedroom. I cry out:
"You're doing this out of anger now! D:"
"No I'm not kitten. I love you and you're going to learn your lesson."
He lectured for a bit and made me feel really loved over his lap which isn't normally the case. I don't know what happened, but I secretly think he learned something from when I showed him Kyle Johnson's video. Shhh.
He tells me:
"You're going to get the spoon hard, and only the spoon. No warm up. And you are going to take it."
"Yes, Sir..." -gulp-
I'm already squirming and begging him to stop.
"Ok, ok, ok! I've learned my lesson!" is what I say.
I squirm so much, tossing side to side to the point where I fall off of his lap and actually break my undies (picture will be at the bottom). Oops. Then he goes:
"I'm going to try this..."
He was most likely thinking aloud, but next thing I know, one legs clamps down my flailing legs and I am stuck and he keeps whacking at my bum. :(
Is it just me, or does the left side hurt SO much more. It's like I have one super sensitive cheek. I'm wanting to call 'yellow' but only on the left, it makes no sense.
Anyways, he continues for maybe a minute. It was a VERY short spanking to say the least, but it was the most painful one I had in a long time.
"This is nothing kitten. I spare you. Things are going to change around here and you're going to start behaving. This is par, any breaking of rules will result in this as the base, and only get worst from here. Do you understand me?"
"Now, go to your corner and I'll come back for you later."
As I walk to my corner I start smiling. I can't help it!
"Kitten... why are you smiling?"
At the time I didn't know why.
"Umm... because I ripped my panties? :S"
And then I stood in the corner and waited by my lonesome. I realized then that I smiled because he's learning. My Master is finally being that powerful man I feel submissive to and I finally got the spanking that I had coming to me. Yes, it was painful and it would be nice not to go through it, but I don't learn that way. It was such a relief that he took me to that place where I was yelping and squirming and still feeling safe over his lap.
After he came back he led me back to the bed and my heart fell. I thought I was going to be spanked again but I followed. He sat me down and put his arm around me and kissed my neck and cheek. I don't normally get aftercare, but I had been complaining about it for quite some time. :P He showed me so much affection and I felt so close to him. It was so incredible.
I'm not bruised, and my butt is only a little sore this morning. This scares me. How do women take harsh punishments? :o
The picture (I asked for permission, yay for being good) as promised:
|Sorry about the bad quality, and the awful lighting and the lack of background. Hopefully we'll be getting a camera (with video :P) soon.|