Sunday, March 18, 2012

Tonight's the Night for Change

I feel like a big fat liar.
I told you all that I was going to blog consistently, and of course I have not been. Now you see what my Master has to deal with; at times I can be all talk and no action.

Well, I'm back... again. At least I do think about blogging every then and again. But it's hard, and I don't mean to complain in any way, it's just hard when nothing is really changing in your life. I blog, when something happens, and when nothing happens I feel no reason to blog. You can understand that, right? (And I know I'm probably talking to no one but it makes it easier to write when I feel like I'm directing this to someone :P)

I'm here, meaning there HAS been changes. Good ones in fact! :) Master and I have been very cozy and nice lately. I am so very much in love with him and I'm so grateful that we've worked through all of this hardship because this love I feel has been totally worth it. For the most part, anything regarding the lifestyle has been cut out completely, however, he has been more firm with me and much more patient. I haven't been spanked (will be tonight, surprise!) but I feel myself wanting to be submissive more and more and it's an incredible feeling to have.

He told me himself that the reason why we were fighting so much was because he had much higher expectations of me. Expectations as a 20 year old, I should be able to meet, but sadly I can not. He has agreed to remove all of his expectations and start out from the bottom up and I think this has helped us a lot.

We are also talking to someone who is going to help mentor us. He has been a bit MIA for the past few days, but I hope he comes back in the picture soon because I really think he's going to be able to help us. :)

Once things are back in place, and my butt is properly put back in line on a regular basis, I'll blog again. Which will hopefully be soon, very soon.

Anyways, I am awaiting a spanking tonight. I think Master is a bit fed up with my attitude and I don't blame him, I'M fed up with my attitude. I'm nervous, and anxious, yet excited because I'm thinking things will finally stick this time ESPECIALLY with the mentors help to keep us both on track.

P.S. Since we last talked I found out that I'm somewhat of an exhibitionist. So if it's ok with my lovely Master, pictures will soon be posted of my punishments.

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