I think the worst thing you could ever say to your Master is "you don't scare me enough to obey". And of course I crossed that line. Last night I got one of the biggest spankings of my life, but I'm going to bore you with the buildup first.
For the past few days Chris and I have not been getting along, still very much in love, but non stop arguments to the point where we stopped talking to each other. Those of you who have been following know we just moved in together and for some reason, you would think the exact opposite, we have been spending even less time with each other. Stress became overpowering and when Chris stresses out, he shuts down. Maybe it's a guy thing, something I will never understand, but when he is stressed he needs time for himself, to think things through. I'm the exact opposite, when I'm stressed out all I want is his comfort so I don't have to think about how stressed out I am. We're like magnets but in my girl world we're a negative an a positive so I feel the force drawn to him, and he's two negative magnets, wants as far away from me, or any other human being for that matter, as possible.
Because of my magnetic need for him, and his magnetic need to be distant I have been extremely frustrated and a frustrated kitty only leads to a naughty kitten. I forget completely how our lifestyle works, I see us as equal and I complain and complain and demand how he's not being fair to me. I sass and yell at him to comfort me. Why am I so stupid sometimes?!
Anyways, I just had it at Albertsons while we were picking up some food.
"Kitten, stop being so demanding!"
"I'm a demanding person, I can't help it!" *turns back and walks away*
Frustrated Master. :( He grabs me and holds me still in the middle of the store.
"I honestly don't know what to do with you anymore, you don't know your place." I'm so smart.
"Well why don't you show me this place? Do you even know how? I'm not afraid of you."
"You dug yourself in a deep hole."
*End of conversation*
Me being the lion I am, yup, was still unafraid. I knew he wasn't actually going to do anything about it. I mean, he hasn't ever punished me bad enough for me to actually fear him. Yeah, I've had some pretty tough maintenance spankings but I'm still alive to tell the tale and not a single tear was shed. We got home, and of course like I had predicted no spanking took place. He was back in his 'ignoring' mood (the way I see his 'needing space' mood) and turned on his computer and turned on one of his boy games. I just had it at that point, I mean deep down I was hoping there was going to be change and he would punish me like he promised so I lost it. I didn't hold back at all and yelled and demanded him to get off the computer, go to the bedroom with me and watch some 'Weeds' (fucking amazing show).
He followed me to the bedroom alright, wooden spoon in hand (he keeps it by the window pane).
"Come here!" signals towards bed
"Now kitten, do you know what you've done?"
"Yes Sir..." sass still in my tone
Now I don't think Chris believes in warm-ups. I was already bare bottomed across his lap and he already swung with that merciless wooden spoon.
After that he just kept smacking, over and over again and made sure I told him over and over again what I was doing right. I swear I have had to say: 1. I will not be demanding, 2. I will not raise my voice and 3. I will not be sassy. Over and over again. He drilled it hard into my head, or should I say my ass.
After a while it went numb. Now all you spankos out there may think I'm a newbie when it comes to spankings and you guys go numb all the time, but that was the very first time that has ever happened. I didn't even know it went numb. I'm so glad it did though, I honestly don't think I would have been able to last if it didn't.
After what I felt was forever, he told me to get up and go to my corner. Now this is the weird part, in my opinion, I couldn't move. I laid there still for a second until I heard: Do you want more?! *WHACK* meow :(
So I get up, extremely dizzy. Is this normal?! And went to my corner. I leaned on the sides of the walls because I felt too weak to hold myself up. He comes by, I see him in the shadow against the wall and tells me to stand up straight, arms by my side.
He comes back with the spoon. More spanks! Coome onnnnn. Once in the corner, isn't the punishment over? That's not how it works in our house. My feet started denting the carpet, I felt bad for not believing in him and I almost started crying when he pulled me out and held me. That's such a crazy feeling, that moment he holds you and you feel like everything is going to be ok.
He leaves the room, I lie there by myself. He squirts lotion on my burning bum and asks me how it feels. It actually felt good, and told him the truth. Now I know my boyfriend is a monster for sure, he was hoping it would sting. -______-
I'm extremely tired and I actually just suffered another spanking just now which was shorter but not sweeter. :/
To resume tomorrow...