Am I possibly the worst girlfriend/submissive/slave ever?
Let me tell you our dilemma. Chris, the most handsome, hardworking man in my life, is currently unemployed. We moved about 7 months ago to leave our past behind and after about 5 months of struggling he finally landed a good job at the Disneyland hotel (do not stalk us). He was finally offered this job mid December, right before Christmas time, right before my birthday, right before already made plans.
It was necessary for him to take Christmas off to visit his family up north, he hadn't been home for Christmas in a few years now so I understood why. And he also had to take off for New years, through my birthday (January 2nd) because my uncle rented out a cabin for my 20th up in the snow and we were going to have an amazing trip with our good friends Ariel, and Jeremy. :)
I didn't think too much about this at the time. He JUST got a good job, and now is requesting days off right upon getting hired. He warned me too, when I told him he had to take the New Year off he sweetly said: "kitten, you know it's not going to look good on my part if I take so many days off.." too much PMS-y response of: "BUT YOU HAVE TO TAKE THOSE DAYS OFF! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! YOU CAN'T MISS THAT! :(" And sure enough, he took those days off, and was fired.
He tells me it's not my fault, that HE chose to take those days off. But wouldn't you blame yourself? Why did I have to be born right after the holidays. It's not fair sometimes. I still feel guilty about it, no matter how often he tells me that it's not my fault.
Now on to today, and the reason I'm writing this blog. I can't stand him being jobless. It's so sexy to me when he gets up in the morning, takes a shower, puts on his suit, kisses me on the forehead and tells me he loves me and returns home by the time I get back from school. Yes, weekends were lonely and sometimes I wish he didn't have to go, but knowing that he made money to pay off our rent was a really great feeling.
Now I'm stressed out of my mind. Rent is coming up in just 10 days and I have to pay for books and I don't have financial aid yet and I know that I don't have nearly enough to cover and everything is falling apart. So I wake up this morning, and I have a major freak out. For no good reason, just my stress builds up like a volcano and at any given moment I'm ready to explode. Well, GOOD MORNING MASTER!
Rawr. I hate that I'm so mean about it. I know he's trying, he really is, I just think he should have a job by now. :K
Oh boy, deep breaths chica! Stress is a killer. Before we were married, David and I were only barely making ends meet for a good while and my anxiety went through the roof. But that's not good because that leads to random, uncontrolled brattiness. Would it be stepping over any lines to ask if you could help him? Google search some openings in the area? Or get him some phone numbers of jobs you think he might enjoy so he can call and ask about openings? Might take a little stress off of you both if he feels he's got some extra eyes and ears helping the search and you feel you're not just sitting there helplessly. Helps stress when you feel you're able to help. Just a suggestion. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd don't blame yourself. I totally get why you're feeling that way but as he said, he chose to take those days off. You didn't force him. I have a feeling he never would have allowed that to happen so rest assured you didn't do anything wrong :)
Hang in there girl. You guys will get through this.