It seems to me that a blog with this title is required when you're a submissive girl looking for someone who is strong enough to keep you in track. I, unlike most submissive women, can not control my tongue. I am very good at expressing exactly how I feel about every situation, and for some reason I have no problem testing Chris' authority. Chris and I are night owls, it's one of the many reasons why we get along so well. The two of us have no problems staying up until the sun comes up and sleeping the day away. However recently, it has really been bothering me. I feel as if I'm wasting my life and I'm done with getting nothing accomplished.
So last night, at 6am without any sleep yet, we had an open discussion about kicking our new lifestyle into full gear. I expressed how I felt about staying up so late, and also openly told him that he lets me walk all over him. I don't know if I did the right thing or completely stepped out of line. We talked for about an hour and then he had to get something done at work (the boy doesn't require sleep, I envy him). So I fell asleep and woke up to a message, about an essay long, of what is expected of me daily. Umm... what?! I don't know whether to get excited or hide with my tail between my legs!
It is necessary for me now to say please, and thank you while asking for something (along with a meow, something we do), and it is now my responsibility to ask him for ANYTHING. And I mean anything. This includes getting out of bed, getting out of the car, ect. It shows that I have handed him my control. Now today, I somewhat treated it like any other day, I mean, I didn't know if he was fully serious or just playing the part of HOH. So of course I sassed him and was sarcastic at times, which he didn't appreciate at all. I also expressed a lack of patience, which we've been working on for a while. We had delicious BBQ Korean food and went home to find his brother absent.
Now, normally we would just go about our day and ignore the fact that we were alone. But today, he took full advantage of his brother not being there. Ever since we started dating, there has been a rule for me to get naked after midnight, I sleep naked next to him (I love skin against skin so I don't mind). But today upon walking in the front door he told me to "get naked early".
Now, I knew I had been bad. He had given me a few strikes while we were out, but I thought nothing of it. I've been way worst in the past and nothing had happened. Regardless, I did what I was told, stripped and went under the covers to wait for him. As soon as he walked in the door, he reached out for my hand, lifted me from the bed, turned me to face away from him without saying a thing, and pushed me back down on the bed.
Chris has spanked me a few times, but it often left me disappointed and it made me question whether or not he could handle spanking me properly. After tonight, I know am sure that he is 100% capable, I can even tell that I got away easy tonight. He had me positioned in 'cow pose' (for those of you who do yoga), or as more people know it as on my hands and knees, back arched, looking straight ahead or up. He even generously held my hair back for me to stay in position and to keep my back arched. I don't know about you, but I HATE that position. I feel so exposed, so vulnerable and unstable.
He started spanking my naked bottom with his hand, hitting the left side WAY more times than the right. During the "maintenance" spanking that I had before, he didn't keep a constant speed, he would say something, smack me awkwardly a few times, and then stop within a minute. This time it came full throttle. He was merciless (or so it felt), and used his hand to make a good first impression. After the quick warm-up with his hand, he took my plastic hair brush (we don't have any implements yet). Luckily it was plastic, so I don't think it hurt as much as something wooden, but he still made it hurt. I kept buckling and folding over, he managed to hit the same exact spot over and over again. I wanted to fight it, I would allow myself to fall over and look at him with the puppy eyes that he can't resist, but it did not work. His only words were: "Get back in position".
He spanked me until I recalled everything that he had written on the list, switching off between the hair brush and his hand in no particular order What is it about not being able to think or speak while being spanked?! It makes it really hard to remember rules. Ugh. I did say the key ones though to the point where he was satisfied. I thought that was it, but instead I hear: "Count out 20 for me, and say 'I will obey' after each stroke and if you move I'm adding 5".
What happened to the boyfriend who let me have my way with everything? It would be nice if he came out at a time like this! He alternated sides, I counted all 20 and surprisingly didn't get the 5 added, but did ask for a break that was not granted after the 10. After the spanking I stayed in position until he told me I could get out. I basically flopped over, I had no energy anymore. I did not cry, but some of the hits made me want to. I think I'm too stubborn to show that it hurts me that much. He cuddled me right after and told me he loved me, and I felt so warm inside. I felt so much love in his touch, the man in my life cares so much about me that he's willing to spank me for my own good, what more can I ask for?
Because of this nap of mine I am breaking 2 of my new rules. One, it's now 4:39am and I'm supposed to be asleep by 3am every night, no later, and two, I was to finish my paper before the due DATE (not due time) so before midnight and I woke up at 1am from my nap. Paper is now done, so hopefully he is forgiving because I did take a nap. He's asleep next to me but I'm about to wake him (not annoyingly this time) so I can tell him I love him. :)